Let's Talk About Programming Languages — Wuxia Edition

Preface

Recently, on a whim, I've been reviewing programming languages.

I am most familiar with C#, while others are relatively strange to me.

To be honest, the following is a creative presentation I asked AI to generate in the style of a Wuxia (martial arts) novel.

I fed the information I researched to Gemini and asked it to present it in a Wuxia style.

I limited it to about 2000 words.

The result is below.

I also experimented with other styles; you can guess what style they are.

I will post them in another article.

I will link to this post when there are updates.

The novel dialogue edition link: Let's Talk About Programming Languages — Novel Dialogue Edition

The prose edition link: Let's Talk About Programming Languages — Prose Edition

"The Fragmented Scroll of Ten Thousand Codes"

The Prologue

in the years of Emperor Lizong of the Southern Song Dynasty, outside Lin'an Prefecture, the autumn rain was endless.

Inside a dilapidated mountain dwelling by the West Lake, candlelight flickered. A young scholar in green robes was staring blankly at a tattered ancient book. This scholar's name was Tang Yu-Cheng. Originally a poor scholar who had failed the imperial examinations repeatedly, half a month ago, while taking shelter from the rain in an ancient cave on Tianmu Mountain, he accidentally discovered this strange book in a stone box.

The book cover was neither paper nor silk, cool to the touch, and inscribed with four strange symbols: "J A V A".

Although Tang Yu-Cheng was well-read, he had never seen such a script. Opening the first page, a line of mantra resembling Sanskrit was written impressively: public static void main(String[] args)

He pondered hard for forty-nine days, and suddenly, a flash of inspiration hit him, and he exclaimed, "Wonderful! 'Public' means public, the world belongs to all; 'Static' means stillness, controlling motion with stillness; 'Void' means emptiness, humble as a valley. This first sentence of the mental cultivation method is instructing one to 'face the world, one must be still, return to the void, and only then become the Main protagonist'!"

He was mesmerized and continued reading. The book recorded a supreme mental cultivation method called "Object" (Oubojiete), which emphasized that "Everything is an Object." Tang Yu-Cheng thought, isn't this the highest realm of Taoist "Equality of All Things"? Whether it is flowers, trees, or swords and spears, all can be viewed as a "Class," from which endless variations derive.

Sword Qi Across the World

Just as he was immersed in the profound martial principles of "Inheritance" and "Polymorphism," the temple door was kicked open with a "bang."

Wind and rain mixed with a flash of cold light swept into the temple. The comer was a girl in purple clothes, about seventeen or eighteen years old, holding a cold iron longsword. Her brows were filled with heroic spirit, but her face was pale, appearing to have suffered internal injuries.

"Hey scholar, get out! This lady is taking this place!" The girl's voice was crisp but carried an air of killing.

Tang Yu-Cheng was comprehending the infinite loop internal strength of while(true). The true energy in his body was surging like a great river. Hearing this, he slowly raised his head, a bright light flashing in his eyes, as if electricity was flowing.

"Are you injured, Miss?" Tang Yu-Cheng's gaze was torch-like, seeing at a glance that her breath was disordered, obviously a "Deadlock" in her internal energy flow.

The girl's name was Lin Yu-Shuang, the eldest miss of the great Jiangnan sect "Fallen Plum Manor." Seeing the scholar's piercing gaze seeing through her condition at once, she couldn't help but feel a chill in her heart: "Who are you? Are you a pursuer sent by the 'Black Wind Stronghold'?"

Before the words fell, Lin Yu-Shuang shook her wrist, and the sword tip transformed into three plum blossoms, heading straight for Tang Yu-Cheng's throat. This move, "Three Variations of Plum Blossoms," generating reality from illusion, was the unique skill of Fallen Plum Manor.

Tang Yu-Cheng saw the sword momentum coming urgently. In his mind, the chapter named "P Y T H O N" from the book flashed instantly. The book said: "The Python moves with agility, not adhering to form (Variable Types)."

Instead of retreating, he advanced, his body twisting like a slippery python at an incredible angle, barely avoiding the sword edge. This movement had no fixed pattern but was extremely smooth, exactly the essence of "Scripting Language" — immediate reaction, no need for pre-compilation.

Lin Yu-Shuang missed her strike and was greatly shocked. She changed moves quickly, sweeping her longsword horizontally, executing a move called "Wind Sweeping Fallen Leaves."

Tang Yu-Cheng smiled slightly, murmuring to himself: "If condition met, then execute block..."

He brought two fingers together and, not avoiding the sword edge, pointed straight at Lin Yu-Shuang's wrist. This finger strike seemed ordinary but was incredibly precise. It was the supreme unique skill from the "C" volume — "Pointer."

"The Pointer points directly to the root of memory."

Lin Yu-Shuang only felt numbing at the "Lieque Acupoint" on her wrist, as if her entire strength was directly "Referenced" by the opponent in that instant. The longsword fell to the ground with a clang.

"Sorcery!" Lin Yu-Shuang exclaimed, leaping back three rods, looking at him with uncertainty and shock. "What kind of kung fu is this? It's neither Shaolin Diamond Finger nor Dali One-Yang Finger!"

Tang Yu-Cheng stood up, collecting his stance, his sleeves billowing without wind. At this moment, his mind was running the "Garbage Collection" mental method from the "C #" chapter, expelling the distracting thoughts and waste gas generated from the fight just now, feeling refreshed.

"What I practice is the 'Source Code Divine Art'," Tang Yu-Cheng bowed with hands clasped. "That finger just now is called the 'Addressing Finger,' specifically designed to break the nodes of the opponent's energy flow."

"Source Code Divine Art?" Lin Yu-Shuang frowned tightly. "I have never heard of such a sect in the Jianghu. Are you from the Western Regions?"

"You could say so; this learning originates from the lands of the extreme West." Tang Yu-Cheng thought that these "foreign texts" were indeed Western characters.

Lin Yu-Shuang was unwilling to give up and gritted her teeth: "Again! I was careless just now."

She took a deep breath, channeling 120% of her internal power. Her palms flew, creating a sky full of palm shadows enveloping Tang Yu-Cheng. This set of "Falling Petal Divine Palms" was partly real and partly empty. Each palm hid seven or eight variations, dazzling like a sky full of flower rain.

Tang Yu-Cheng frowned slightly upon seeing this. He saw that this palm technique was incredibly complex. If he used ordinary moves to dismantle it, he would inevitably fall into a bitter battle.

"The data volume is too large; the algorithm needs optimization."

He took a deep breath and switched his mental method. The true energy in his body instantly turned from soft to hard, circulating the internal Kung Fu from the "C++" chapter. This Kung Fu emphasizes manual management and extreme precision. Although dangerous, it can unleash the strongest performance.

Facing the sky full of palm shadows, Tang Yu-Cheng no longer dodged. He spotted a flaw in Lin Yu-Shuang's palm technique — it was a "Logic Bug."

"Break!" Tang Yu-Cheng shouted loudly.

This shout was like thunder, shaking the tiles on the temple roof down. His fingers, held together like a knife, cut directly into the only gap in the sky of palm shadows. This was exactly the profound method of "Break Loop." No matter how many variations you have, I cut off your loop logic with a single slash.

"Bang!"

The palms collided. Lin Yu-Shuang felt a strange force like a mountain toppling and the sea overturning surging towards her. This force was layered upon layers, endless like ocean waves. It was the power of "Recursion."

She gave a muffled groan, retreated several steps, leaned against the altar table, and a trace of blood spilled from the corner of her mouth.

Tang Yu-Cheng hurriedly withdrew his power, asking with concern, "Miss, are you alright? I was anxious just now and invoked the 'Multi-threading' internal force, failing to control the 'Concurrency,' and collided with you."

Lin Yu-Shuang wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth, looking at this scholar with complex eyes. This person's martial arts were unbelievably high, but she couldn't understand a single word he said.

"What multi-threading... what concurrency..." Lin Yu-Shuang gasped and asked, "Is your internal cultivation method Taoist or Buddhist?"

Tang Yu-Cheng said solemnly, "Neither Taoist nor Buddhist; it is 'Logic.' That palm of yours just now, although complex in variation, had too many 'Variables,' causing a 'Memory Leak' during the circulation of internal breath. Therefore, although the palm force was fierce, it lacked stamina. If you can 'Encapsulate' the moves, hiding the details and leaving only the 'Interface,' the power can be doubled."

Lin Yu-Shuang listened in a fog, feeling this person was a martial arts lunatic. But thinking carefully, the words "Encapsulation" and "hiding details" seemed to implicitly agree with the martial arts principle of "great skill looks like clumsiness, hiding one's light fast."

Her heart moved, and she asked, "Then how do you say my internal injury should be treated?"

Tang Yu-Cheng pondered for a moment, took out the fragmented scroll from his bosom, turned to a page, and pointed to a line of code on it: "The mutual exclusion of true energy in your body is a symptom of 'Deadlock.' To resolve this symptom, the system must be rebooted... uh, I mean, you must disperse all your kung fu and rebuild your foundation."

"Disperse my kung fu?!" Lin Yu-Shuang turned pale with fright. "Wouldn't I become a useless person?"

"No, no." Tang Yu-Cheng shook his head. "This is 'Refactoring.' Since the old architecture is rotten, patching it up only adds to the trouble. It is better to break and then stand, adopting a new architecture. In my book, there is a 'Git' mental method that can help you with 'Version Control.' If you practice it wrong, you can also 'Rollback' to the state of yesterday, guaranteeing safety."

Lin Yu-Shuang looked at his serious face, then at the broken book full of tadpole-like scripts, and finally couldn't help but burst into laughter with a "pfft."

"You... your martial arts are scarily high, but your brain seems a bit not quite right." She put away her longsword, her eyes flowing with waves. "However, you won. According to the rules of Jianghu, I should bow to you as my master, or..."

Her face blushed, and she didn't continue.

Tang Yu-Cheng was stunned, then overjoyed: "Bow as master? Great! I am just worrying that no one is discussing this 'Deep Learning' chapter with me. Miss, you are intelligent. If you can collect data and train models with me, given time, we will surely comprehend the ultimate mystery of this 'Artificial Intelligence' (AI)!"

Lin Yu-Shuang sighed, thinking: This person is indeed an idiot.

The Ending

Outside the window, the rain gradually stopped, and the morning light was faint.

"Hey, dummy, what's your name?"

"I am Tang Yu-Cheng. May I ask for your fragrant name, Miss?"

"Lin Yu-Shuang."

"Good name. Rain (Yu) transforms into water, Frost (Shuang) freezes into ice. It fits perfectly with the principle of 'Three States of Water.' It seems you are destined for my sect."

Lin Yu-Shuang rolled her eyes at him and turned to walk out of the temple. "Let's go, Master. Where are we going to train your whatever... model?"

Tang Yu-Cheng quickly packed up the "Fragmented Scroll of Ten Thousand Codes," carried his book box, and followed happily.

"To Mount Hua! The book says, to discuss 'Cloud Computing,' one must go to the peak surrounded by clouds and mist!"

The backs of the two disappeared into the morning mist. Since then, there has been one more legend in the Jianghu about a peerless master full of crazy talk and his "Book from Heaven" that no one could understand.

It is said that later, on the peak of Mount Hua, Tang Yu-Cheng finally realized the supreme move, named "Hello World." One palm strike, and the world opened up, all things reborn. But that is a story for later.

Is the above story too outrageous? I find it quite interesting.

• first edition time: 2026-02-12
  
• last edit time: 2026-02-15